


Honest Confessions

by Glitter_Is_Fabulous



Series: Malec Post 3x10 [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Conversation, Cuddles, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, They talk, supportive and caring Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 01:37:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitter_Is_Fabulous/pseuds/Glitter_Is_Fabulous
Summary: Magnus is convinced Alec won’t love him as he did when he was ‘very good at magic’. Alec is on a mission to persuade his boyfriend that he’s not going anywhere.





	Honest Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos to part 1. I did not intend to write another part but I thought you all might like this.  
> I am not entirely happy with this but I thought I would post it for you anyway. Hopefully you enjoy!

While Magnus did appreciate Alec doing all the chores since he lost his magic, he assumed his boyfriend was annoyed with the amount of work he was doing. Cleaning the loft consistently, along with cooking all the meals and doing extra jobs that Magnus would normally do with the snap of his fingers.

Magnus was convinced Alec was doing the chores because he couldn’t himself.  
He was convinced Alec was annoyed with him, hated the fact that he could no longer click his fingers and complete a single task.  
He was convinced Alec didn’t love him like he did. He didn’t have his magic anymore. Any spark, literally.

Magnus was miserable, but he was determined to hide his emotions behind smiles and constant reminders to others that he was fine. Unfortunately for him, Alec was not an idiot. He could tell Magnus was trying to push him away. He just didn’t know why. 

That night in bed, Magnus wasn’t lying close beside Alec. What made it worse for Alec is that all he could see of his boyfriend was his back. Magnus was creating more distance between them, as if the pain of when Alec left would be easier if he got used to the distance now. He wrapped his arms over his stomach and pulled his knees close to his chest as if to make himself smaller.

“Magnus?” Alec leant over to gently touch Magnus’ shoulder but paused, moments before actually making contact. Dropping his hand on the bed and waiting for Magnus to look at him on his own terms. “Please?”

Magnus forced his eyes shut, almost feeling the warmth radiating from Alec’s palm but refusing to turn around. He was trying. Trying to get used to the fact that he would be alone again sooner than he ever wanted.

“Talk to me please? I’m worried about you”

He slowly opened his eyes. Not moving a muscle, despite how much he wanted to just collapse in Alexander’s arms, he restrained himself.

“Please tell me what’s wrong?”

He paused, Magnus could hear the sharp intake of breath from Alec.

“Did I do something wrong? Did I put something away where you couldn’t find it? Are you upset with me because I couldn’t come home to sleep last night because of a mission?”

Alec’s voice died away, but he began talking faster. He sounded as though he had a million thoughts running through his head. Magnus was upset Alec couldn’t come home last night, but it didn’t help that he missed him the entire night when he’s trying to get himself used to the absence of someone else in his bed. In his home.

In his heart.

“Please tell me what’s wrong Magnus? Do… do you need some space… from me?”

Magnus didn’t answer, he was so tense from resisting the urge to turn over that he didn’t realise he was holding his breath.

“I… I’ll leave you alone, I’ll sleep on the couch if… if that’ll help”

Alec didn’t sound bitter. Or angry.  
He sounded concerned. Worried.

Magnus finally turned over when he felt the bed move. Alec was sitting on the edge of the bed, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Please...”

Magnus had finally spoken, but his voice came out more as a pained groan than a word. Alec took it as his confirmation of wanting him to leave, standing up as he ran his hand roughly over his face.

“...don’t leave”

Alec was at the door by the time he heard Magnus speak again. He had spoken quietly, but the room was so silent Alec was able to pick up the two broken words. He slowly walked over and stood next to the bed, closer to Magnus. Shifting to hesitantly sit on the bed, Alec didn’t move any closer to comfort his boyfriend in order to not overstep any boundaries 

“Please tell me what to do Magnus. Please… I want to help”

His words almost came out as a choked sob and Magnus caved. Slowly lifting one hand to reach out for his boyfriend, Alec met him half way and took Magnus’ hand in both of his. His grip was firm, as if holding tightly would keep Magnus here with him. Permanently. 

“Don’t leave me...please”

Alec froze. He was staring down at Magnus both feeling upset, almost as if he’d just spoken a different language. Alec couldn’t comprehend why Magnus thought he would have such thoughts.

“Never, I promise”

“Promise?”

Alec silently asked for permission to lie down beside him. Magnus shifted back slightly, allowing Alec to collapse right beside him. Alec held their hands to his chest and kept his eyes on those he’d grown to love.

“Always. You’ll have a hard time getting rid of me”

Magnus attempted to smile, to quietly laugh at Alec’s words but it came out as a sob. Alec instantly reacted by pulling him closer and mumbling quiet soothing words. Alec shifted to pull the blankets to cover them up to their shoulders, they huddled closer together.

“You are so strong”

Magnus was a little confused by Alec’s words. 

“I love that about you…

…No matter what the world throws at you... you don’t let others see how you react. You keep everything to yourself but never hesitate to help those in need”

Alec pulled Magnus close, wrapping one arm around him and pressing his lips close to Magnus’ ear. Magnus then closed his eyes and took comfort from having Alec so close, quietly uttering the thoughts that had been haunting him.

“But... I’m not the same. I’m not the same man you fell in love with anymore” 

This time Alec pulled away. He stared at Magnus as if he’d actually offended him. 

“…Magnus”

Alec had a serious look in his eye, Magnus didn’t know whether to be curious or concerned.

“If you actually think I wanted, and stayed, in a relationship with you because of your magic...”

Alec sighed and shook his head, looking quite defeated.

“…then I have definitely been doing something wrong” 

Magnus swallowed thickly and tried to be optimistic as he watched Alec’s hazel eyes and took his time before replying. 

“You haven’t done anything wrong... you’ve been so good to me… Taking care of me”

Alec still looked just as confused as before Magnus spoke.

“Of course that’s what I wanted to do. What did you think would happen? That I’d leave?”

When Magnus held his breath and didn’t move, that’s when Alec knew he’d guessed correctly. He couldn’t actually comprehend that Magnus thought he’d leave. 

“You…”

He took a moment to gather his thoughts. Think of a reason why Magnus believed he’d leave. Alec shifted to lie on his back, staring at the ceiling and trying to hide his disbelief. After what felt like hours to Magnus, Alec finally spoke again.

“You, you actually thought I’d leave?.. That I’d leave you?”

Alec slowly turned his head to look at Magnus. He still hadn’t let go of Magnus’ hand from earlier, holding onto it now like a lifeline.

“Why? How could you possibly think that? Did I say or do something… something that made you think that?”

This time Magnus looked away, shifting to lie on his back. He moved to pull the covers back up to his shoulders where they’d slipped when they both moved.

“How could I not?”

Alec didn’t move a muscle, he was stunned. Before Magnus could even continue, Alec spoke up.

“You actually think I’d leave you? And not just because you lost your magic but in general? You think I want to leave you?”

Magnus didn’t reply straight away which caused Alec to shift and lie on his side, fully facing Magnus now. He wanted to pull Magnus into his arms, smother him with affection and compliments, but he knew now was not the time to push.

“I love you Magnus. Magic or no magic. I fell in love with a man who allowed me to be myself and accepted everything. Scars, flaws and my bad moods”

Alec could see a stray tear slide from Magnus’ cheek, even when he smiled a little, so Alec learnt forward to gently catch the tear with a kiss.

“Your magic is not why I fell in love with you. I fell in love with you, for who you are”

Magnus both loved and hated how Alec could so easily speak the truth. How he could express his emotions and thoughts to Magnus as if they were obvious. He slowly turned to look at the hazel eyes watching his every move.

“Can you not see how much I love you Magnus? I would do anything for you...”

Suddenly Alec began to blush, causing Magnus to tilt his head in confusion.

“I… I assume you probably know but... Shadowhunters only love once. We only fall in love once, but that love is strong it’s just... you’re it for me”

Slowly but surely Alec took Magnus’ hand in his, letting his grip feel loose so Magnus could pull away if it was too much.

“... only once?” 

He could recall hearing that before. It might’ve been centuries ago, but he didn’t realise that ‘Shadowhunters only loving once’ was actually factual.

“Yes. I… You’re it for me Magnus, you always will be. Just because you are my first, does not mean any less, I don’t want anyone else.”

Magnus closed his eyes and a few stray tears escaped, this time because he was relieved. He couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to think so little of his shadowhunter.

“…I’m it for you?”

He tried to speak clearly, he really did. But through his clogged throat and tears, the words didn’t sound clear.

“Of course. I mean... you’d have to go to extreme measures to get me to leave... unless that’s what you want?”

Magnus actually looked shocked at the assumption.

“No it’s not what I want Alexander... I was just... I was worried you wouldn’t want me after everything... all of the horrible things that have happened-”

“How could I not want to spend the rest of my life with you? How? You deserve the world Magnus”

Alec leant forward and slowly kissed Magnus’ forehead.

“It may be impossible but I am going to try my absolute hardest to give you what you deserve and treat you... like you’re... a king, nothing less”

Magnus couldn’t help but smile as Alec was lost for words, opening and closing his mouth as he searched for what he was trying to say.

“Just... you, you’re my world Magnus”

And just like that Magnus fell in love with Alexander Lightwood all over again. 

“As you are mine Alexander”

Alec gave him some time to react as he shifted to pull Magnus closer. He missed having Magnus in his arms, it had been a considerable amount of time since Magnus started wanting more space. Right now, he couldn’t have Alec any closer to him. While Magnus was the one that needed comforting, he wanted his arms around Alec. He quietly gestured for his shadowhunter to turn over with his back to Magnus, so he was able to wrap his arms around him. After that, they drifted off to sleep with both their minds at ease.  
\--  
The next morning Magnus woke up to the sun creeping through the gap in the curtains. His instinct was to snap his fingers to solve the problem, but he soon realised he wasn’t able to. Sighing, he knew he would now have to actually get out of bed to close the curtains but there was weight on his chest and legs holding him in place. 

The sight when he looked down caused him to freeze. Alec had shifted in his sleep and was now curled up against his chest. Alec’s legs were tangled with Magnus’ and his arms were holding him close. Even if Magnus wanted to get up, not that he wanted to, he was unable to. 

Gently, Magnus began running his fingers through Alec’s messy hair. For once they didn’t have to wake up early. They didn’t have to rush back to their lives. It was a quiet morning and Magnus intended to bask in the comfort from having Alexander so close to him. And after his confession the night before, he never intended to let his shadowhunter go. 

Magnus was more than happy to lie there for what felt like hours, casually brushing Alec’s hair with his fingers. As the minutes ticked by, Alec slowly began to awaken. He began moving his toes and fingers first, then his arms and legs. It caused Magnus to smile, for it seemed Alec was reassuring himself that Magnus was still there. Alec slowly tilted his head, looking up at Magnus with his big hazel eyes without shifting away from him. Slowly smiling, Alec snuggled closer and pressed kisses to Magnus’ chest. 

“You’re so beautiful in the morning”

Magnus smiled fondly at the still very sleepy Alec mostly on top of him. Continuing to gently run his fingers through Alec’s hair, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the comfort of having his shadowhunter so close. As if Alec could sense their conversation from last night was still on Magnus' mind, he attempted to convince Magnus he definitely wasn't leaving. Not ever.

“I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you”

“As you wish Alexander”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> If you have any other ideas that you'd possibly like to see me add to the series - do let me know in the comments or via my tumblr (glitter-is-fabulous)  
> I am definitely not happy with the ending but I hope it is kind of alright.


End file.
